when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
someone get that fucking seahorse.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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