You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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