Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Just pee around me
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
