To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
