____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
