Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
