Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
