Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Randomize
