we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
