i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Randomize
