mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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