if you like me you must not know who I am
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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