Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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