Do you still have your period?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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