Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
