The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Randomize
