Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
