barbara walters just said penis...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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