My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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