it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
