Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
