Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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