I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
