How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Less talking, more tequila
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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