Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
The best revenge is premature balding
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
