Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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