He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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