Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
