He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
How external is "for external use only"?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
