THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
