He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
