I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
