great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
