handjob tips. give me some.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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