yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
