is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
