In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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