I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
