We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
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