I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
