Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
