Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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