Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
