doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
