i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
