..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
