do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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