haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
