I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
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I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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