Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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