I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
