Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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