im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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