I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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