I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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