Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
