The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
