i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize