I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
