Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
home. puking in laundry basket.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
