Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Randomize
