I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize