doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
