I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
40s are totally the cure
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
